Coming Out Day: Info for Asexuals


This Saturday, October 11th, is National Coming Out Day.

If you’re asexual and planning on coming out, there are a few posts on Asexuality Archive that you might be interested in.

The first is Coming Out: Experiences. This is a post about what other asexuals went through when they came out. Although your situation will be unique, this post may give you some idea of what to expect and what to prepare for.

The second is Coming Out: Advice. This is a post full of tips and advice from other aces who’ve been there. Not all of it will apply to you, but it’s worth a read to see what others have suggested.


hyena-punk asked:

What would you suggest people use instead of amab/afab|dmab/dfab. Because like, if you're going to tell people to not use something it kinda seems like it would be on you to offer a alternative

lefthandriseabove-deactivated20 answered:

So it’s my job as an intersex person to educate you? I don’t think so. Use CIMAB or CIFAB since a trans woman came up with CAMAB/CAFAB but since dyadic people aren’t assigned a sex…. Anyways, indentify. Indentifying politics are all the rage right now too.

OR!!!!! HUGE SHOCKER!!!!! Just say you are trans? Is being trans a bad thing now or something? Why can’t you just say ‘Trans girl :)’ The only time it would be appropriate for a trans person to use a descriptor is if they are ACTUALLY born intersex. Rather than identify as intersex. But like I said, indentity appropriation is hella in right meow.



No, it isn’t your job. But if you want people to stop using a word it really helps to offer them alternatives. It definitely works for ableist language at least, i’d figure it would work for plenty of other things too.

To be honest I’m not really sure what the real point of saying dmab is for trans women. There isn’t really a single instance where dmab would be more accurate and fitting then trans women. Though I could just be missing something

CAMAB and CAFAB, along with AMAB, AFAB, MAAB and FAAB were coined by trans people in order to contextualize the experience of being trans and advancing the way we talk about trans people beyond phrases like “trapped in the wrong body” or “MTF/FTM.”

A couple of years ago dyadic and intersex people started trying to claim that CAMAB and CAFAB were stolen from them, and that trans people need to stop using these terms.

No one is using these terms to gain glitterqueer points. These terms didn’t appropriate anyone’s identity. Plus, just like the last couple of times I’ve seen this crap go around, they’ll just start claiming any new words are also appropriation. It’s all about pushing trans people to abandon any and all terminology and concepts used to interpret and explain being trans.

It is bullshit that dyadic people are not assigned a sex at birth. The doctor literally assigns one. “It’s a boy” or “it’s a girl” both being assignments that define both sex and gender, whatever may be the reality for any given newborn.

It’s the standard strategy of claiming ownership of anything and everything that has ever belonged to trans women, that trans women have produced, etc. It’s not dissimilar to the way trans women have basically been written out of early second wave feminism and recharacterized as sexual predators seeking to poison cis women’s communities.


Anonymous asked:

Is the bi flag for biromantic people as well or is their a different one

a-little-bi-furious answered:

The bi pride flag is inclusive of biromantic people. Sometimes it is combined with the asexual pride plag to denote biromantic asexuals, like this:



Here’s to the sexualities that “don’t exist”!


Here’s to the sexualities that “don’t exist”!





some informational venn diagrams on bisexuality

I am pretty sure that being perceived as straight while in a relationship with a woman, explicitly being exempt from being called diseased by family members and not having to fear negative consequences like getting fired from talking about my relationship, counts as some kind of privilege?

Hint: it’s straight privilege.

fun facts for you, studies have actually found that bisexuals have similar or higher levels of STI infections compared to gay and lesbian monosexuals, probably because of the lack of bisexual-friendly health care; one of the first times bisexuals ever got any public attention was during the midst of the aids crisis when straight people were blaming us for spreading aids to them; and bisexual men are not allowed to donate blood in the U.S. and a bunch of other countries either and any of their female sexual partners have to wait six months after their last sexual encounter to donate. bisexuals getting called diseased? check.

more fun facts! the pew research survey of lgbt americans found that a high percentage of gay and lesbian monosexuals reported that their work places were very accepting of their identity than bisexuals—60% of gay men and half of lesbian women, compared to 44% of bisexuals. this probably contributes to the fact that, while only 8% of gay men and 6% of lesbians say that they are not out at their place of work, over half of bisexuals report being closeted at work.

as for being perceived at straight-weirdly enough, that’s not a phenomenon exclusive to bisexuality! it’s almost as if we live in a heteronormative society in which anyone not doing something explicitly not straight at this very moment is automatically assumed to be straight (excluding people with non-conforming gender expressions, who are automatically assumed to be not straight)—oh wait, we do! and yet no one ever says that gay and lesbian monosexuals who are not in a relationship, or who are stopping by the grocery store to pick up some cereal without their significant other, have straight privilege! i wonder why?

oh right. biphobia. that’s why.


although there is some problematic language, this is fucking awesome. D:



So, I have finally decided to do something about a matter that has been (really) bothering me for sometime. That is asexual recognition in Finland. Our biggest and most influential organization for sexual and gender minorities Seta ( defines asexuality as follows:

Aseksuaalisuus. Aseksuaalisuus tarkoittaa seksuaalisen kiinnostuksen tai halun puutetta. Se ei ole seksuaalinen suuntautuminen. Aseksuaalinen ihminen voi kokea emotionaalista vetovoimaa mihin sukupuoleen tahansa ja näin olla esimerkiksi hetero, homo, lesbo tai bi.

This translates roughly:

Asexuality. Asexuality means lack of sexual interest or desire. It is not a sexual orientation. Asexual person can experience emotional attraction to whatever gender and therefore be hetero-, homo- or bisexual.

Yeah. I have decided to try to change this badly outdated definition….